


Someday

by CrazyButterLoverSky



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Death Threats, Dragons, Drinking to Cope, F/M, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Threats of Violence, Violence, Werewolves, idk - Freeform, its a gladiator ring bbs!!, some kind of shapeshifting wind controlling thing, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 13:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyButterLoverSky/pseuds/CrazyButterLoverSky
Summary: When Eugene finds himself with an impossible choice, he decides to fight.





	Someday

Eugene was fucked.

 

He stood in the ring, people cheering on all sides, and he's covered in blood. He scowled down his opponent, and he was so god damned close, he was almost there. Ned and Keith stood behind him, backs to each other as they fought.

 

And behind his opponent stood the prizes.

 

Ariel, Becky, and Zach.

 

One for each of them to fight for, even if Zach was (hopefully) unaware up to this point.

 

The creature roars, standing at an easy 10ft, and covered in an inky black of its own wounds. It glared down Eugene with its 3 sets of eyes, all three ignoring the rest of the arena. The multi-colored eyes are unmoving, and Eugene grins with blood in his teeth. He must have looked feral, but that was the least of his concerns.

 

The creature screams, and on its multiple massive arms, it runs at him.

 

He lets out a scream of his own, and meets the creature in the center.

 

\---

 

Eugene was having a perfectly normal, average day for him, and he should have known something was up. But there was no way to know that they were going to get kidnapped while Ariel and Becky were around.

 

Eugene knows this, and yet it just leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He wakes up in a cell, and he knows that this isn't just another video because there are no cameras, and no acting, and he was never told about this.

 

He stands up and walks over to the bars of his cell, looking around. Across the room is Ned and Keith, who look to still be asleep.

 

He looks around, and panic grips his heart when he realizes that Zach was nowhere to be seen. He finally feels the gravity settle over him. He looks around frantically, pacing, because he doesn't know where he is, what is happening, or where the hell Zach is.

 

He hears a door. It slams shut, waking up Ned, who quickly wakes up Keith.

 

Eugene is alone in his cell, and he knows that he will be the first one taken.

 

He meets Ned's eyes, and the guard throws open his cell door. He looks up and scowls, but the thing (because humans physically could not be that tall) grins.  
  
“Ready to die, little one?” It all but purrs, and everything slows to a halt. He hears the screaming behind him, and looks at the creature in the eyes, before nodding.

 

He is escorted out, and he can still hear the screams after he leaves.

 

\---

 

He gets dressed up, given no weapons, and is also given no instructions.

 

Then he watches as a screen folds down, and he watches it, having nothing else to do.

 

It explains... some.

 

He has now apparently become a Gladiator, someone who is forced into a game of skills and brutality. The brutality part comes in when you have to defeat and kill your opponents, and the reason-

 

His heart stopped when he saw a picture of Zach.

 

“This man is your prize.” It droned on. “If you win, you will get one step closer to winning him. Should you lose, he shall be executed.” He felt himself tense up.

 

“You have ten days to prepare for each match. There will be 6 matches. The first one is to win your own freedom.” Screen-Zach seemed so scared, and Eugene knew for a fact that he wasn't with anyone.

 

Zach was alone, and that terrified Eugene.

 

The screen cut out, folded up, and the lights flickered on.

 

He looked around, and saw various weapons and tests, and he felt himself stiffen up.

 

If Zach was his prize (that was weird and Eugene hated it), that meant that he was probably last.

 

He clenched his jaw, and got to work.

 

\---

 

Eugene walked into the gladiator pit, and immediately felt impossibly small. He looked around, focusing on the faceless crowd for a few seconds, before he saw the stands opposite to him.

 

They were all their, in various levels of restraint, and all of them were staring at him.

 

He scowled and marched into the arena, ready for a fight.

 

A dragon flew into the arena.

 

He almost screamed in outrage, but instead decided to drop and roll, missing the dragon's claws by hairs.

 

He scrambled away as the dragon roasted its own foot in an attempt to get Eugene. It missed, and Eugene got a round shield and a short sword at the moment. He scowled again, because the tests said the only venerable parts of a dragon were its-

 

He eyed the dragons stomach as he suddenly had a crazy plan.

 

Hey, its worth a shot, as he ran at the dragon.

 

He could feel the excitement fade, until Eugene rolled under the stomach and got the sword stuck in it. He kept rolling, getting out right before the dragon tried to squish him.

 

It instead impaled itself.

 

It roared as Eugene grabbed a bow and some arrows, and started aiming. Now, usually ten days wasn't enough to learn anything, but Eugene was impatient, smart, and driven. So he knew enough, in his books.

 

He pulled back, aimed, and fired, ripping a small hole in its wing. It screeched, and Eugene dived as the claw struck the earth again. He gasped, and scrambled away, leaving behind everything but the shield.

 

He came up with another insane, foolish plan, and threw the shield in the dragons mouth as it tried to eat him.

 

It coughed, and roared, but the shield was metal so all that happened was that it melted and make the wound worse. It started flailing, and Eugene stepped back, watching for another opportunity.

 

Now, Eugene was already freaking out, but then the dragon started thrashing, so now Eugene had to predict where an injured dragon would move, and plan accordingly.

 

Easy, until he gets to the very beginning, which is obviously not easy.

 

He gets smacked with a wing. The one he shot.

 

One final idea circled his head. But for it to work, he would need the creature to fly.

 

He was sorely tempted to scream, “Fly, dumbass!”, but as he got his grip on the small hole in the wing, it took off, trying to find Eugene.

 

He grabbed his knife, the one thing he was allowed to bring from the training room, and started slashing. The dragon roared as he sliced into the strange flesh of the creature. He felt the wing start to rip from his weight, thought _Oh no_ , and started to fall as the wing tore. He held on for dear life, before the dragon hit him with its wing, and he fell to the earth, away from the creature.

 

It crashed, hard.

 

It didn't move, after that.

 

Eugene was praying that he heard the instructions right, when cheers started up. He looked around, and the faceless audience members were screaming about what had happened. Eugene was confused, as he had very clearly and nearly died repeatedly, but then a screen opened up from the floor.

 

“Eugene Lee Yang, as promised, here is your first price.” Keith folded into the arena, and damn neared screamed. Eugene looked at the screen as it said, “Good luck next round.”, then folded back into the floor.

 

Eugene sighed and turned back to the entrance.

 

He refused to look back. Because he was now a killer, and they didn't deserve a killer.

 

He doesn't notice the cheers of his name, nor the looks from the rest of his friends.

 

But he noticed Keith, and damn it all he was going to get everyone back if he had to go against a thousand monsters.

 

He would make sure they all got back home safely.

 

\---

 

“Dude, you- Oh my god- How the _fuck_ -”

 

“Dude, calm down.” Eugene would be already tired of this, but he missed actually talking to his friends, so he bore with it.

 

“No way, you literally killed an entire fucking _dragon_ , how the hell!? I saw you like a week ago-”

 

“Ten days.”

 

“How do you- Never mind, what I am most concerned with right now is that you killed an full on dragon and are acting like you kicked a puppy.” Eugene rolled his eyes and scowled some more, but Keith kept speaking. “Also, what the hell, last time I saw you, you were freaking out, now you're the heartthrob of the literal entire galaxy.”

 

Eugene felt his eyes furrow in confusion, and Keith stared at him for a few seconds, before blinking.

 

“Wait, did you not know..?”

 

“Know what?” Eugene turned back to his quiz, and started trying to guess which opponent would be next. “I know next to nothing man, is that surprising?” He mumbled. Keith moved closer, and tried to look Eugene in the eyes, who instead kept up the test. Once he finished, he turned to Keith, who was already speaking. “Uh, what do you know, cause we don't know much either, or at least I don't.” Eugene shrugged.

 

“Okay, so I'm a Gladiator, I go out and kill things in order to 'win back' you guys, which is what I'm doing. Zach is the last prize,” He could feel his heart twist, but kept his face carefully blank. “So more than likely, Becky will be next to last.” He looks over at Keith, who was nodding, confused.

 

“Wait, win back?”

 

Eugene sighed. “Yeah, you guys are my prizes for winning. I lose and Zach dies and one of you guys take my place, I bet.” He doesn't need to look at Keith to know his expression, but he does anyways.

 

He is surprised to see primarily anger, and only a little confusion.

 

Eugene just rubs his forehead and sighs, before going to train some more. After all, he already went over many files, and he really needed to learn how to use the weapons better.

 

He feels Keith's eyes on his back, and he scowls. Not quite knowing what he was doing or why, he grabbed a chain and started spinning it. Not really his thing, but he should probably learn how to use it. He guesses weight and material by characteristics from the weapons tests, and he refused to notice how Keith looked.

 

Keith looked like he'd been slapped with a dead fish by a living one.

 

“Wait, waitwaitwait, why are you going swinging around chains? Like seriously Eugene, that isn't a very practical weapon.”

 

Eugene would agree, but instead he holds it to the light. “Silver.”

 

Keith looks like a million questions are bouncing off each other in his brain, but what comes out is, “What- How, wait- silver?!” Keith nodded, slightly confused.

 

“Does that mean there are werewolves?” Keith whispered, and Eugene would be worried but he's currently being swept away with possibilities, and all he says is, “I haven't considered them.”

 

Keith, for his part, looks very confused and very worried. Before he could say anything, Eugene continued. “That makes sense though.” He wanders to the monster book, as he's dubbed it, and started flipping through the pages until he got to the werewolf section.

 

“Yeah, teeth, tall, buff, claws. Not much to be worried about, they can't infect us. But they are formidable foes, as the text says, so we should train with lots of silver.” Keith went from confused and worried to confused and terrified.

 

“Wait, we are going to fight! Literal, honest to god, werewolves. By ourselves. With no backup.”

 

Eugene nods throughout all of Keith's rambling, before closing the book and clapping his hands.

 

“Okay Keith, let's get practicing.”

 

\---

 

The two of them marched out into a screaming arena. Eugene swore he heard his name, but he really didn't want to think about that.

 

 _Heartthrob of the galaxy-_ Brain-Keith said, and Eugene moved Keith out of his head, for not paying his rent.

 

Oh god he was going insane, welp it's been fun y'all.

 

He just keeps his face straight and walks closer to the first ring. Because now there are rings, one for Eugene to fight in, and one for everybody else to fight in.

 

Eugene was sick of this, and then the werewolves came out.

 

And wowee, look at that, they can shift between forms, just like the book said.

 

They all ran on stage as dogs, and stood around as some weird dog-human-hybrid.

 

The smallest walked into the center, and all sorts of warning bells were going off.

 

Possibly because this little bastard didn't have any weapons.

 

But Eugene had a plan now, and damn it he hoped it worked. Cause otherwise both him and Zach were done for.

 

He felt his gaze harden, and he swore that he would win.

 

He slung his chain off his shoulders, and lifted it right as the screen said, “Go.”

 

The claws were in the chain, and Eugene twisted around to avoid the other claws. He could smell burning, and wanted to gag. But he tightened the chain once again, causing the creature to hiss, before he twisted again, got behind the creature, and punched it in the head with the chains around his fist.

 

It screamed, and turned to Eugene with fire.

 

“I will not lose this game.”

 

Eugene stiffened, and then quickly dropped to his knees, which could have killed him but it didn't.

 

He heard something flop onto the floor, and with a quick glance, he turned back to the currently 9 fingered werewolf.

 

Yes, the thing on the ground was one of its fingers.

 

Eugene almost screamed as the creature got even closer, and he raised his arms between them to shove the creature away. He fell, and so did the creature, and Eugene still had the chain.

 

Eugene blinked, and the plan gathered in his head once more.

 

He walked around, and started choking the thing with the chain, a steady stream of, “I'm sorry”'s fell from his lips, and he knew that the creature knew.

 

It knew, and it didn't fight back.

 

The rest of the werewolves cried out, and one of them set foot over the line.

 

They all started to explode, except for Eugene and Keith.

 

Keith, who was staring at him like he was a monster.

 

Eugene didn't wait for Ned to come before he walked away, bruised hands and tears hidden.

 

He does suppose he is a monster.

 

\---

 

Ned and Keith were talking. Not to him, of course, but to each other.

 

The crowd had gone wild, and Eugene got the feeling that the way he killed it was either really good or really bad.  
  


He just hoped that he wouldn't be too severely punished.

 

He heard a scuffling of feet, and didn't move from the small cot.

 

“Leave him be, Ned.” Keith called out, sounding almost as bad as he felt. “He's clearly not ready to talk, so don't push him.” He heard Ned huff, but it sounded sad and lonely, and Eugene knew that the rift between them had already opened. Now it was well out of reach.

 

Eugene just prayed that they wouldn't hunt him down, and let him leave in peace.

 

His breathing hurt. Probably some injuries, but it's not like he's been letting them heal. He has a job to do, and there's no way that he can just ask for an extra week only to be beaten down some more. Or maybe it's the tears that he hides by covering his eyes with his arm.

 

“Keith, he hasn't moved in hours, we should talk to him.” Ned sounded beyond worried, and Keith did too, even if all he did was hum.

 

They moved to him slowly, and clearly, almost acting like Eugene is a wild animal. Which he probably is, if he's being honest. A wild, lost, and broken house animal thrown on the street. Licking his wounds and knowing that he wouldn't be saved.

 

They sit down on the bed, and Eugene doesn't move, couldn't even tense up since he was already getting ready to be beaten. Which doesn't seem like the Try Guys, but neither does straight up murder, so at this point he was ready for just about anything bad to happen.

 

None of them speak, probably waiting for Eugene to calm down. But that won't happen, and eventually Ned talks.

 

“Eugene, are you..- Wait, no, silly question. Uh, what- why-”

 

Eugene sighs. “It's all a part of the game.” His voice is hoarse and tired, and he can barely understand what's happening, but Ned probably looks confused.

 

“Why can't you leave the game?”

 

Eugene barks out a laugh. “'Cause I essentially volunteered to do this. I said I would do it, and now I have to keep my word.” He feels his body fall deeper into the cot, or at least it felt like it. He was probably just falling into an even deeper depression than before, and he knew he should train, wanted to train, but he was so tired. He just wanted to sleep, probably because he hardly slept these past twenty days.

 

Wow. Twenty days. Eugene almost laughed, but then he would be marked crazy, and he didn't want to have an even harder time with learning how to win.

 

Keith suddenly speaks up. “Ned, look.” He hears a gasp, and he knows he's probably in deep shit for whatever had happened.

 

“Eugene, when was the last time you ate?” Ned asked, and he knew Keith was worried too. But he just scowled, and tried to half-ass remember when it was when he ate last.

 

He couldn't come up with anything, not for the past day and a half, so he shrugged.

 

He could feel the anger. “Eugene, have you been eating your dinners?” Keith asked, and Eugene just shrugged again, even if he knew the answer. Which was no. He didn't like eating too much at once, and he didn't like eating at all, and now every time he tries to eat he feels sick, so he eats enough to sustain himself. No more, no less. It may not be healthy, but Eugene wasn't healthy so why should he care.

 

“Eugene, come on.” Ned has a hand on his left arm, the one not covering his face. He tenses, and doesn't move otherwise. Ned doesn't remove his hand, and then Eugene is pulled up. He flails his arms a little, trying to stop moving, but then Ned is in front of him, and Eugene knows he looks like shit but he can't look Ned in the eyes so instead he just looks away. He zones out again, not really wanting to deal with their anger.

 

He doesn't see the confused and concerned looks that his friends gave him, but he does feel when he's being pulled up. So he complies, because he is tired of fighting, and is sat down in the small kitchen area. Ned starts cooking as Keith sits across from him. Eugene stares at the damaged table, and feels himself go over strategies and tactics, which leads him to what he would do if they attacked him or if he lost the very limited control over himself, and he accidentally sobs. Everything freezes, and Eugene is panicking, before he feels arms wrap around him. He almost, almost freaks out, but instead he just sighs and tries to let the hug happen.

 

It's simple, but it's so warm and Eugene somehow forgot how to be warm, he had been running cold for a long time and now he was being given warmth.

 

He sobbed again, feeling more broken and useless than he ever had. Possibly because he tries to never cry in front of others, and now they see, and he can't _stop_. He shakes as he's being held, and he doesn't know who he's holding on to but he grips their shirt and sobs until he can't think anymore.

 

But of course, the one thought on his mind that never leaves sends him into another small sobbing fit.

 

_After. After this, you will never see them again._

 

So he sobs, and then is held until Ned's voice says food, and he feels himself close off again.

 

_\---_

 

_I miss Zach._

 

Ariel and Ned were talking with Keith, after the third round of the game.

 

Eugene refused to look at Zach, because it hurt too much. Knowing that he will leave hurt Eugene too much, and he knew he should have squashed those damn feelings a long time ago, but then Zach would laugh, or smile at him, or do anything, and the feelings would come rushing back.

 

Now there would be no more smiles, or videos, or anything. Eugene would leave LA, move far away, and never be seen again. Hopefully.

 

Eugene sighed and left to do more training. He can feel their stares, but ignores them as he learns how to fight with swords. And then anything, really, anything close enough to grab Eugene trained with. When he ran out of weapons, he started trying some hand-to-hand, and he knew that they pitied him, and he hated it.

 

So he kept fighting.

 

\---

 

Eugene looked around. He saw Becky and Keith, and Ariel and Ned, both couples talking among themselves. He looks away, and waits for the final battle.

 

He tries not to think, but he has a sword on his hip and a knife under all these fancy clothes. He walked out into the familiar pit of people screaming his name. As he made his way to the center ring, he could feel panic grip him.

 

 _Zach_.

 

Zach was in the arena, and he was being held above their heads on a metal chain. He wasn't knocked out, actually he looked rather panicky. Eugene looked around, trying to find his opponent. He looked up at Zach, saw his eyes widen, and turned.

 

He got punched by something. He doesn't know what, because it's _invisible_ to him, and he falls onto the ground from shock and pain. He tries to roll, but then it feels like he got kicked in the gut. Which further proves that this thing is invisible, but it seems to be toying with him. He scowls, and stands up, only to be smacked across the back with the force of a metal chair, sending him sprawling. He hears the others screaming, and he hears them ask what the hell is attack him, so he knows its invisible to them too. He can barely hear them over the pounding of his heart, and he tries to stay still for a split second.

 

He gets kicked in the stomach, but he catches the foot and throws the fucker to the ground.

 

Everyone loses their minds, Eugene tries to get back, and Zach seems to be screaming.

 

He looks around to see if he can actually see something.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees hands. He doesn't want to be touched by the black, slimy hands, but the creature touches him before he can react.

 

Everything freezes as he blacks out.

 

\---

 

He wakes up as a child.

 

This instantly sets off all his warning bells, and he sits up to look around.

 

In the room is a picture of Zach (which is odd because they didn't know each other as children and that is also adult Zach, not kid Zach.), black walls, and a single broken window.

 

It almost looks like one of his old homes, and man that doesn't make him feel any better.

 

He stands up, and feels strong winds under his feet. He squints, and looks around, trying to see anything.

 

The room explodes with wind, circling right around Eugene, and he scowls. He also really hopes none of this is projected, mostly because of the picture (which is odd, why would a picture of his best friend bother him?)

 

(He knows why.)

 

The wind throws a bed at him, the boards come up around him, and he's gasping for air because it's being torn from his lungs, and he can't quite see but he knows that the wind is the only thing actually hurting him. He stands in the center, looking around for any kind of escape, when he sees the picture is gone.

 

His heart stops, and he whips around, trying to see it.

 

When he does, it's on a collision course to the bed. He feels everything slow to a stop as he whispers, “Stop.”

 

Everything falls and he rushes to catch the picture.

 

He wakes up to him catching Zach, who is very panicky, and he looks around for the creature.

 

He finds something that looks almost human, if not for the pure white eyes, and the fact that it was floating.

 

“Fuck.” Eugene says simply. Zach turns to look at him, but Eugene just gets up, and gently puts Zach down. “Don't move unless it's to dodge, got it?”

 

Zach squeaks and says something about how the fuck is he supposed to dodge the wind, but Eugene ignores it in favor of looking the creature dead in the eyes and walk towards it.

 

Everything stills for a split second, Eugene grins and pulls out his knife, and the creature tries to scream.

 

Eugene throws the blade into the creature, which causes it to screech. He drops as the creature launches itself at him, and he stops for a second to marvel at his skills. But then he pulls out his sword, and swings with both hands.

 

Blood gushes from the creature, pure white in color, and it burns his skin. But he ignores it for now to get another swing at the creature.

 

They are both in the middle of a tornado, and all he can hear is the sand and wind causing a deafening silence. He stares down the creature, and pants, hoping that he looked more tired than murderous, but hey, why not both?

 

He brings the sword up to defend above him head as the thing swipes, and then he brings it down for a final, deadly swing. The blood soaks him, and he pants as the winds die down. The creature starts reforming, and Eugene panics, before recognizing the creature as-

 

The first guard.

 

He grips his sword, and then it speaks.

 

In a familiar, monotone voice.

 

“Well done, Eugene Lee Yang.” It says, staring him down.

 

“You have won back everyone's freedom. I congratulate you on the victory, and now we will send you back to your home.”

 

Eugene feels his weapon go slack in his hands, his mind screaming that its a trap, while also praying it wasn't, while also he knew that he would stay he forever, as his punishment for killing.

 

He wasn't quite sure what happened, but the next thing he knew, he was back home, and he no longer had a sword.

 

He blinked, and coughed. He goes to the bathroom to spit out the blood. He stands up to look at himself in the mirror, and is somehow even more disgusted with himself. He was still covered in blood, so he stripped and stepped into the shower.

 

And if he cries as he puts the shower on too cold, well, that's no one's business but his own.

 

\---

 

When he steps out of the shower, he is stunned to see 5 people in his living room where there was none. He panics, before recognizing them. He sighs silently, and walks to his room, where he gets changed. He is in no way presentable, but it would work.

 

He stands at his door for far too long, and he hadn't even reached for the doorknob yet when it swung open. Zach stares at him, and he stares at Zach, and nothing feels real anymore because Zach is fine and he is _not,_ he has never been so not fine, and he freezes as Zach stares at him with something in his eyes that makes Eugene _panic_. He watches as Zach steps in, and closes the door behind him. He didn't lock it, which Eugene is uncomfortable about, so he locks it for no real reason. Maybe to stop himself from running.

 

Zach takes a seat on the bed, and looks around, clearly waiting. Eugene gulps, and moves to the window beside the bed. He feels the stare from Zach, and he stares intently out the window. So he doesn't see it when Zach steps beside him until he's there, and then he's gently pulling Eugene to sit on the bed. Eugene complies, honestly too tired to say no to anyone, let alone Zach. He stares at their hands, because they are almost touching, and Eugene wants to hold it but he doesn't want to hurt him, and-

 

“Eugene.” He looks up to see Zach looking at him with sympathy. Not pity. Eugene feels himself tense up anyways, and then Zach continues. “May I hug you?” He asks, quietly, making sure that Eugene has plenty of time to react and process. Eugene appreciates it, and he nods, because even if he doesn't want to hurt him, he is so cold that a hug from the person that always makes things better would be perfect.

 

Zach studies him, before smiling and pulling him in for a hug. Eugene froze, but his hands grabbed the fabric of Zach's shirt, making sure that he wouldn't move. He starts shaking, and Zach is petting his hair which is really nice, and he can't let go or else he will lose him, but he's scared to hold on too tight, and now it's gone from hugs to existentialism. He sobs quietly, because he hates this, hates feeling weak and powerless and fragile and just hates everything about himself. He sobs, and feels powerless, and Zach is crying too, and Eugene loosens his grip, worried it is his fault. But then Zach pulls him even closer, and all Eugene can do is hold him and join in.

 

So they sit, and they cry.

 

Eventually, Zach pulls away from an overwhelmed and slow Eugene, and he's murmuring apologies as he stands up and starts to leave.

 

Eugene feels the tears return, but they're completely silent, and he looks down to his lap, but he must be obvious because the bed dips and Eugene is pulled down to lay on Zach's lap. He breathes deeply, and tries not to be obvious, but it's useless because Zach is frowning and he doesn't know-

 

He doesn't know. All he knows is that Eugene-

 

Eugene sits up and starts running his fingers through his too long hair, and he's hyperventilating because he killed, he's a killer, and that's all that Zach knows, and- He doesn't-

 

Zach is rubbing his back, and it burns but it feels nice, so he doesn't know what to do. So he freezes, and he is still breathing way too fast, too hard, he can't breathe-

 

Zach asks him, “Gene, are you okay?” He laughs, and shakes his head, everything's moving too fast, his voice too high, and he's not okay cause he's a _murderer._

 

Zach freezes, and he stops. He stops breathing, thinking, and moving, as Zach stares at him.

 

All Eugene wants is to leave, but before he can move, Zach talks.  
  
“I-” He pauses, and stares down Eugene. Looks at him, really looks at him, and seems to decide something. Eugene is terrified when he speaks.

 

“Why?”

 

Eugene flashes back, and all he can hear is _why_.

 

Why did you hurt him.

Why did you do that.

Why did you do nothing.

Why, why why.

 

He breathes, and whispers, “I...” He stops, and gulps, before starting over. “It was a game to them, and I was a pawn.” He finally says, and it makes no sense to Zach but that is exactly what had happened. So he stares at the wall, not looking at Zach, and begins to talk.

 

“It started at work. I blinked, and I woke up in a cell. A guard came in, and it asked me if I was ready to die.” He breathed in, out, and continued. “I said yes, and I was escorted to a room. There, I was changed into the robes, and forced to watch a video explaining the game. I was to be a Gladiator, and you were my prize.” He could hear Zach's gasp, and he knew that gears were turning in his head. “If I won, I would gain back a person, a prize for winning the round. In order to win, I was told I had to kill my opponent.”

 

Silence fell over them.

 

“What about...” Zach whispered, and Eugene closed his eyes.

 

“If I lost, both of us would be killed, and someone else from the group would likely go next.” He laughed bitterly, opening his eyes as he stared at the wall. “Kinda shitty, right? If I lose, I get everyone killed. If I win, I'm a murderer.” He hears Zach's gasps, and he still looks at the wall. “Either way, people die because of what I do.” He sighs, and in the very back of his mind, a voice whispers _just like all of them, right?_

 

Eugene breath stutters, and he runs his fingers through his hair, pulling harshly. He freezes when he feels hands on his, and then the hands pry his fingers away from his scalp, and then Zach moves to sit in front of him. Eugene blinks, and Zach's grabbing his hands, holding them gently, and Eugene wonders if this is what a heart attack feels like. He stares at the intertwined hands, and he's blushing and it's easy to see against his too pale skin.

 

Then he deflates, and whispers, “Sixty days.”

 

Zach looks at him, and he looks at their hands, and says again, “It's been sixty days since this started, at least. Probably longer.” Zach stares for a while longer. “Ten days between matches, and who knows how long it is between when we came here and when we left.” Eugene bends over to place his forehead on Zach's hands, and feels the migraine brewing in his temples. He sighs, and says, “If it only took 60 days to do this to me...” He trails off, not knowing what he was going to finish with, because he looked up and Zach was looking at him like he was-

 

Like he is the same person he was before.

 

Eugene almost cries, almost screams about how he's changed, and dangerous, and he can't get his thoughts in order, but then Zach begins to speak.

  
“Do what?” He asks, innocent, and Eugene doubles over, but then the hands move from his own to his face, keeping eye contact.

 

“Eugene, do you know what you just told me?” He almost responds, but Zach beats him to it. “You told me that saving yourself, in any way, was not as important as the rest of us.” He gulps, and almost looks away, almost cries, but he continues. “You said, that a life without us, was worse than a life without you. That you care, and will quite literally kill a full on dragon for us.”

 

Zach leans in, and while still holding Eugene's face, rests his forehead against Eugene's. Eugene looks up, and watched as Zach stared deep into his eyes, and he thinks something is going to happen, but then Zach says, “You are so, so important, to- to all of us.” Then, he gets up, and unlocks the door, leaving Eugene sitting there, confused and blushing.

 

He shakes his head, and decides a nap is in order, because suddenly he can't keep his eyes open. So he lays down, and is out like a light.

 

\---

 

Eugene wakes up screaming.

 

He thinks that something is there, that he's going to be taken again, that he'll finally be punished, but he falls out of his bed, and hits the floor hard. He lays there, panting, and his eyes dart as he tries to figure out what time it is, and if this is actually his room.

 

He rubs his hands over his eyes, and all he can do is lay there and hate himself for freaking out over sleeping.

 

He knows, however. He knows that he isn't acting normally, so he tries to pick up his broken pieces, and figure out why he said he screamed.

 

But then Ned comes into his vision, and he knows that there will only be truths today, because here come the rest of them.

 

“Eugene! What happened?” Ned's eyes were darting around the room, and Eugene is acutely reminded that his friends all went through shit too, all his fault, and he decides to grunt and simply say, “Tired.” Ned nodded, before Zach came into his vision, and Zach seems to be the least contained of all of them. “Eugene, what the hell, I've never heard you scream like that,” Eugene tilts his head in confusion, and suddenly Keith is there. “Gene, dude, it sounded like you were getting killed or something.” He whispered the last part, and all he can do is look away.

 

_Pathetic. Can't even handle sleeping._

 

He sighs and rubs his eyes again. “Sorry, fell asleep.” He grunted, and he knew that everyone had figured that he barely slept, but he doubted that they knew it had gotten this bad.

 

Then again, he didn't realize that it had gotten that bad either, which is foolish and stupid, but whatever.

 

He felt hands, and almost started throwing punches, but he managed to stop himself before it got further than tensing. He let the three Try Guys help him up, and help him to the living room.

 

Zach went ahead, already having his own issues, and grabbed Eugene some water. He sits down.

 

“Gene, why didn't you tell us before it got this bad?”

 

_Bad, weak, pathetic, get up, lazy, faker, dead._

 

“Didn't realize.”

 

_Liar._

 

They exchanged glances, before Zach comes back and hands Eugene his water, before seeing his face. It was only for a split second, while he took a sip. But he knows that they saw it, saw the emotions hiding just below the surface of his skin, begging to be released again. He refuses, shifts his face into something more neutral, and asks where Becky and Ariel went.

 

“They went to get us some food, but Gene-”  
  
“I think I'm going to go for a walk, I'll be right back.”

 

He leaves before anyone can say anything.

 

\---

 

He wanders. He doesn't really have anywhere to go, but he finds small comforts in the flow of the city, and he breathes in the air, and heads towards a bar.

 

He wanted to get so hammered he couldn't remember his name.

 

\---

 

He ended up back at his apartment a few hours later, after some thinking and drinking. He didn't think of any way to help himself, but rather he thought of Zach. But hey, he almost forgot his name, so he would mark that a success.

 

He stumbled into his apartment, and waved at Zach as he went to bed.

 

Maybe this time, he'll sleep.

 

\---

 

He doesn't.

 

He doesn't sleep for a long time, it's hard to hear himself over the pounding of his heart, but he tries to make sure that he doesn't wake anyone.

 

It has been almost 3 weeks since the incident, and he wasn't getting any better. The other guys were healing well, their injuries were almost gone, and they were talking among themselves about ways to get better. Eugene, on the other hand, was still dealing with severe pain from badly healed injuries, and he had all but cut off contact with the other Try Guys. He was always cold, always scared, and he was halfway to planning on leaving permanently.

 

He's on his couch when Zach comes in, apparently angry at him, and he knew that this was coming, so why did it hurt so much to know that he would be leaving soon.

 

Zach took one look at him, and turned to the kitchen, intent on finding something for Eugene to eat. Eugene just waits for the blows, of rejection on all fronts.

 

He hears Zach groan, and mutter something about him never changing. He almost cries, but he sighs instead, knowing that it wasn't a good never kind of never changing.

 

Zach comes back, and sits down beside Eugene. He feels his eyebrows twitch in confusion, but otherwise he doesn't react. He groans, and asks, “Gene, why won't you look at me?” He knows that tone, the one where he believes he's done something wrong, and Eugene quickly grunts, “Not your fault. Mine.” But he doesn't get much further, cause there's the anger, directed at him, but he refuses to look.

 

“Eugene.” He flinches, because he's never heard Zach get this mad, and he's panicking but trying to keep things calm. Zach continues. “ _Eugene._ ” He almost sounds like he's begging, but he doesn't know why, so he tries to stay neutral and calm, even as Zach falls silent.

 

“Eugene, look at me.” He turns his head slightly, not looking at him, but showing that he was listening. Zach sighs, before grabbing his face and turning said face towards him. He doesn't meet his eyes, but all this feels scarily familiar. He freezes when Zach's thumbs began rubbing at his cheekbones, and almost immediately relaxes again, leaning in slightly to his hands. He still doesn't look at Zach, knowing that the security he'd fallen into would disappear as soon as he does. But Zach talks anyways.

 

“You know, I don't think I could ever do half of what you do.” Eugene's eyes drift to him, and Zach looks close to tears, and Eugene has enough time to think, _what-_ before he continues.

 

“You're smart, and loyal, and kind in your own way.” Zach has a soft smile on his face, and Eugene stares at him because he's never exactly heard any of this before. “You marched right on through hell and back, and now here you are. You got us all home, Gene.” He freezes. “You did, no one else could have done half of what you did. You are so strong that I sometimes wonder... Well, never mind, I just wonder how you can still be so strong.”

 

Eugene feels like he's self destructing, because while he had been spoon-fed compliments about his looks, he's never-

 

He's only ever been called weak, and he knows that he says it out loud, but he doesn't have time to defend himself before Zach speaks.

 

“Well, whoever told you that is wrong.” He sounds confident, and sad, and determined, and Eugene has never seen a sight quite as beautiful as Zach, sitting on his couch, holding him like something precious, and staring at him like he's all that is good with the world.

 

He only realizes he leaned in when he felt lips on his own.

 

He tries to pull away, ready to spout apologies and leave because he just kissed his very straight friend, but Zach somehow keeps him in place and keeps kissing him.

 

Eventually, he kisses back, and it's slow, steady, and comforting.

 

They pull away, breathing heavily and holding each other.

 

They talk the rest of the day away, talking about everything that had happened since the beginning.

 

They go to bed together that night, and even though he knows that he'll have nightmares and the like for the rest of his life, with Zach by his side, he feels like he might be able to get better.

 

And as he looks at Zach the next morning, sick and in pain, he swears that they will get better. Someday.

 

\---

 

He slowly gets better. They all do, although there are nights where all the Try Guys (and Keith's and Ned's partners) will have to calm each other down from nightmares, and there are days that one of them will disappear for a while, only to come back after a few hours.

 

But eventually, they do get better.

 

Eugene kisses the top of Zach's head as he drifts off.

 

And he sleeps for the whole night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ah yes, i cannot write endings 
> 
> come give me story prompts!! @crazy-yet-writing on tumblr!!!!


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